stepping back

Posted on Posted in Parenting

Nathan’s first year in highschool was not very easy… from a class of 11 in grade 7 to a class of 40 in Ateneo, from a school with a population of 250 to a school population of over 2,000, getting to know his classmates from different kinds of background, adjusting to different teaching styles, being exposed to greater peer pressure and standing up for his convictions and coping with the much heavier load of schoolwork (being in the honors class, the level of difficulty was higher than the other classes.)

Several times during the schoolyear, Nathan talked to me about homeschooling. One such time was when a teacher of his accused him of violating one of the school rules and he seemed powerless to defend himself. Nathan has always been deadset on not only getting academic honors but also getting the Kostka award, which was the character award, given to students with all A’s in conduct. This violation would mean disqualification for the Kostka award.

Seeing all the transitions, Paolo and I made it clear to him that he shouldn’t worry about getting any honors or awards. All he needs to do is pass and get promoted to 2nd year. (talk about lowering our standards. :D)

As parents, it is so tempting for us to snatch our kids out from their difficult situation. But there are times when we need to STEP BACK SO GOD COULD STEP IN. Pulling him out of Ateneo and homeschooling him could have been one of our options. But Paolo and I knew that Nathan needed this experience  to prepare him and equip him for the future. We knew that through his trials in school, he will learn to depend on God more, not on his parents nor his abilities. We knew that he will get to know God more and discover for himself that He is faithful and trustworthy. Our goal was not his happiness but his holiness.

And that’s what he learned. As he learned to trust God more and more and persevere in school, God saw him through. That teacher who accused him of a violation, for some reason, Nathan got an A in his class, and was even exempted from his finals. And he ended the school year with 2nd honors and the Kostka award. No credit to us, but all to God.

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Allowing our kids to go through difficulties will push them to depend on God. And that is the most valuable lesson we can ever teach them.

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