After the results were announced, I saw Janina hugging the winner. I wasn’t sure how Janina would react if her name wasn’t called because she wanted to win Playshop Idol 2010. She auditioned and became part of the final 3. She was so nervous and when she asked me for my last word of advice before the show started, I told her “Just be yourself and no matter what happens, you’ll always be the winner to us!” And as she walked away, she mumbled “You always say that mom…”
A big factor in helping our kids accept defeat is how we react as parents. Sometimes the bigger pressure comes from us and our kids are scared of letting us down. We need to be careful about the expecations we put on them. Janina was sad about not winning, and admittedly I was a bit too, but it helps to assure them that we love them unconditionally and that our love is not dependent on their performance. Let us be our kids’ #1 fans!
It is also good to remind them that “God works all things for the good of those who love Him.” (Rom 8:28) Ultimately God’s perfect will prevails over our kids’ lives.
Not winning doesn’t mean losing. It just means you have learned a better way to do it. It means knowing what not to do and what to work on. It means you can try again and give it another shot. The only time you fail is when you quit.
“There are no failures – just experiences and your reactions to them.”