on whining

Posted on Posted in Parenting

All of my kids go through periods of whining. From my 1 yr old to my 14 yr old. Kids whine for different reasons but mostly it’s when things don’t go their way. It’s when they want to buy that lollipop in the supermarket, or to stay up late or go out with their friends and you say no, then they endlessly nag you in that high-pitched, grumbling, complaining tone. Whining really irritates me. (Occasionally though, my kids would be whining, only for me to realize that I have been too busy with other stuff and haven’t been giving them the attention they need. In times like these, I do my best to re-organize my week to make sure I spend ample time with them.) Though it is very common in kids, they have to be taught how to communicate properly even when they are emotional. And they just have to learn to accept the situation and move on even when it doesn’t turn out the way they want it. If whining is tolerated, it develops into a bad habit that our kids will carry with them until adulthood. Yes, I have heard adults whine!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic How do I deal with my kids’ whining? I stop it instantly. When Joaquin starts to whine, I hold his arms firmly, look him straight in the eye and tell him to stop whining. It is surprising how a 1-yr old can control his emotions with consistent training. If they speak in a whining tone, I tell them that I can’t listen properly until they speak in a normal tone. I show them how to say things in a better way. Instead of “I wanna finish my video!” teach them to say “Mom, can you please give me some more time to finish my video?” Sometimes our kids nag us when they want something even after we’ve said no and most parents give in just to make them stop. When you do that, you have just taught your kids that nagging gives them what they want. When I answer a “no” to my child’s request, and he starts to nag, I tell him “I already said no and I don’t want you to ask me again.” And whenever our kids respond properly, we should always be quick to praise them and encourage them for handling their emotions well!

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