There are 3 relationships in our kids’ lives that we need to develop. More often, we focus on the first two: our relationship with them and their relationship with God. But there is a third relationship that is very important: their relationship with others.

widen your circle 2
Nathan and Ryan with David Bonifacio, who regularly spends time with them watching a movie, painting, eating and doing other fun stuff that my boys like to do

This is what the authors of Parenting Beyond your Capacity, Reggie Joiner and Carey Nieuwhof, meant when they said we need to widen our children’s circle of relationships. As much as we are the most important relationship in our kids’ lives, we are NOT the only influence in their lives. As hard as it is to admit, there will be times when our children will be more comfortable talking with another adult, just because that person is not his parents. In that case, do you know who your kids will go to? I would rather he goes to someone who can tell him the same things I would, who will uphold the same values and standards that we have in our home. Those kinds of relationship are built over time. We need to be deliberate and purposeful in bringing other people in their lives as early as possible.

widen your circle
with Dar, who is one of our "babysitters"

That’s why I love our spiritual family. Different people have invested hours in our children’s lives. I really appreciate our friends who take them out on dates and others who sleep over when we are out of town. And these are people I can trust to reinforce the values that we teach our children at home. I know that when they need advice, our children can run to these guys and will hear wisdom from the Word of God. God doesn’t expect us to parent alone. He knows that our capacity is limited that’s why He has given us people around us to help. If only we will be humble enough to admit that we need other influences in our children’s lives.

2 Tim 2:22 pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

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  1. great blog, jenn! Im glad Bella and Hannah get to play with your Nathan, Janina, Ryan and Joaquin. Your kids are the best! They are role models to my kids. 🙂

  2. Agree with Belle on your kids being such spectacular role models.

    The thing is, you don’t get the feeling that these kids feel the pressure to be good pastor kids, they are never preachy nor holier-than-thou, they’re just great kids grounded on very strong foundations with great manners.

    I love your pips!

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