a person of contradictions

Posted on Posted in Parenting

Many mothers would agree that motherhood has changed them. It has changed me. If for the better or worse, I can’t say yet. What I know is it has made me a person of contradictions. Let me try to explain.

Motherhood has made me more patient, yet so impatient. Patient with my child while he puts his clothes on all by himself but not with the ER attendant who’s taking so long while I hold my sick baby in my arms.

Motherhood has made me more calm, yet more hysterical. Calm in the midst of 4 kids running and shouting around the dining table, yet hysterical when my son doesn’t show up on time when I pick him up from school.

Motherhood has made me more organized, yet so disorganized. I can remember details about my breastfeeding schedule, kids’ medicine and school activities yet forget so many other things like buying dog food.

Motherhood has made more more loving, yet so unloving. Loving towards the needy and the helpless, but unloving towards those who abuse and exploit.

Motherhood has made me courageous, yet so anxious. Courageous about homeschooling and pressing on my children’s wounds to stop the bleeding but anxious about my teenager going to China without us, but only his friends.

Motherhood has made me cool, yet so uncool. Cool when I myself dyed my daughter’s hair purple and bleached my son’s hair to almost blonde, but so uncool when I don’t allow my child to a particular party.

Being a mother of 4 I guess brings out the best and worst in me. How I keep my sanity is a wonder. Thank God He gives me all the grace I need.

Happy Mother’s Day to all my mom readers! May all of us become better at it with the help of God!

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