parenting

WHEN IT’S OKAY TO IGNORE

“Mom, Ryan’s baseball friend told me that I’m small and that I can’t play baseball,” our three-year old Joaquin said.

Over the years, even my older kids have come up to me at one time or another to report that a classmate or a friend told them they were not good enough.

It’s inevitable that our kids will hear put-downs from others about their looks, their potential, their achievements and just about any trivial thing that concerns them.

As parents, we can react in different ways. We can go and confront that boy who put down our child and warn him to stop bullying our son “or else…” Or we can pull out our child from that school and look for a more friendly environment for him. Or we can constantly hover around our child and make sure no one comes near him who has bad intentions. Or we can teach our kids to attack with meaner words like “Yes I’m small but I’ll grow bigger but you, you’ll stay ugly forever!” (Believe me, there were times in the past, I was so tempted to attack!)

Or we can simply tell our kids to ignore the comment. We can teach our child to listen to the right voices and reject the wrong ones.

When Joaquin told me about the incident, I reminded him of the video we just watched entitled “Dave and the Giant Pickle.” (Talk about timing…) This was VeggieTales version of the biblical account of David and Goliath. I reminded Joaquin that even if David was small, he was able to kill Goliath because God was with him. So even if other kids tell him he’s small, he can still do great things because God will help him. “So Joaquin, you are big because God is with you!”  I saw how his face lit up as he received affirmation from me.

Of course, your response will depend on the gravity of the situation. If your child is constantly being bullied by his classmates and he is starting to hate school because of that, by all means move him to another school. But if it is a simple case of immature teasing, teach your child to ignore those comments, and feed his mind with the right ones. When others say discouraging things to our children, let our words of praise and affirmation speak even louder!

7 Comments

  • Jean Javier

    I needed this today, so much ate. I was just telling God how much it hurt when Ben gets hurt & that I needed Him to help me deal w it & hopefully grow. Funny that Ben has moved on & it’s his mama that is still hurting.. I’m at a place wherein I am slowly letting go & not hover over him so much so he can grow but oh it hurts when there are mean kids..

  • maypalacpac@gmail.com

    It’s hard not to get sensitive sometimes, I admit. I get hurt for my children when someone is being mean to them. Our former compound neighbor’s son was soooo mean to our Lukas…it took every inch of me to control myself and just attend to my son. This blog is very encouraging to a natural drama queen of a mommy like me….napaisip tuloy ako…ah, ganun lang pala…simple lang…just affirm. 🙂

  • Czarin

    My little girl who’s in 2nd grade was bullied today in school & she was hurt pretty bad with pinch marks & scratches on her arms. There were unsolicited advices & mostly, to retaliate. But I knew we had to deal with this the proper way, but I was asking God to tell me something… anything just to affirm that I’m doing the right thing & how I can make sure my kid does the right thing next time. Thank you for this article (talk about God’s perfect timing!) and for reminding us about the story of David & Goliath. Now my lil girl isn’t scared of the bully anymore ‘coz she knows she has a much bigger GOD! 🙂

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