Category Archives: parenting

Jan 17 2012

a late new year post

2012. I wish I had a better start. After our 2011 year-end trip, most of us got sick. I was tired of being woken up at night by coughing kids and giving medicine round the clock. Added to that was the huge task of cleaning up the house of the left-over mess from the holidays. I was tired and grumpy (and hungry from our one week fast.) I didn’t realize the extent of my  temper until Joaquin told me the other day “Mom, can you not shout again? Please have a nice attitude.” My 3-year old couldn’t have said it better.

Haay… I am reminded once again of my inadequacy and incompetence. I really cannot do this parenting thing on my own. I need divine help. I need God’s grace. I desperately need His help.

A mental preview of 2012 is enough to make me feel excited and exhausted at the same time. I am anticipating a busy year as Nathan prepares to take his college entrance exams, while Janina prepares for highschool and pursues her new-found “career” in theater, and as I homeschool the kids and manage all their extra-curricular activities on top of our speaking engagements and ministry.  No complaints here. I love being fruitful. I just know that I cannot do this on my own.

As we go through another year, I acknowledge my complete dependence on God. I cannot even come close to being a good wife and mother without God’s help. I cannot be an effective speaker without God’s anointing. I cannot mentor and coach other women without His wisdom. I am nothing and cannot be anything without God.

Philippians 2:13 (NLT)

13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

 

Jan 17 2012

A LATE NEW YEAR POST

2012. I wish I had a better start. After our 2011 year-end trip, most of us got sick. I was tired of being woken up at night by coughing kids and giving medicine round the clock. Added to that was the huge task of cleaning up the house of the left-over mess from the holidays. I was tired and grumpy (and hungry from our one week fast.) I didn’t realize the extent of my  temper until Joaquin told me the other day “Mom, can you not shout again? Please have a nice attitude.” My 3-year old couldn’t have said it better.

Haay… I am reminded once again of my inadequacy and incompetence. I really cannot do this parenting thing on my own. I need divine help. I need God’s grace. I desperately need His help.

A mental preview of 2012 is enough to make me feel excited and exhausted at the same time. I am anticipating a busy year as Nathan prepares to take his college entrance exams, while Janina prepares for highschool and pursues her new-found “career” in theater, and as I homeschool the kids and manage all their extra-curricular activities on top of our speaking engagements and ministry.  No complaints here. I love being fruitful. I just know that I cannot do this on my own.

As we go through another year, I acknowledge my complete dependence on God. I cannot even come close to being a good wife and mother without God’s help. I cannot be an effective speaker without God’s anointing. I cannot mentor and coach other women without His wisdom. I am nothing and cannot be anything without God.

Philippians 2:13 (NLT)

13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

 

Dec 1 2011

christmas countdown

The month of December is like a long road trip where kids can’t wait to reach their destination and are asking non-stop “Are we there yet? How much longer?” I love it that kids anticipate Christmas! It is always refreshing to see their eagerness and wide-eyed wonder about Christmas in contrast to the stress that adults normally go through as they deal with their Christmas to-do lists.

To make the time of waiting for my kids much more fun, we always do a Christmas Countdown. This year, the kids and I decided to make a craft out of it. With my old scrapbook papers, envelopes and clothespins, this is what we came up with:

Got this great idea here. Everyday, the kids open an envelope and read our activity for the day. Today, for December 1, the card reads “Check your stocking for a surprise!”

Here are more ideas for you from It’s Written on the Wall!

Nov 22 2011

our lopsided christmas tree

It wasn’t after most of our ornaments were hanging on the tree when we noticed how our tree looked. Joaquin, our 3-year old, wanted to join in the fun of decorating our tree so I gave him all our stuffed ornaments to hang. Naturally, because of his height, all the stuffed ornaments ended at the bottom of our tree. That was not how I imagined our tree to look like.

Sometimes, it is really much easier to do things without the help of our kids. I say “help”, but it feels like they’re really not helping at all. We just end up undoing what they did and cleaning up their mess. Last night, Joaquin broke one of our ornaments and another child broke a candle holder. I was tempted to send everyone to their rooms so I can do everything peacefully, casualty-free, and exactly the way I wanted it.

But more than having a nicely decorated home for Christmas, our goal as parents is really to build memories with our children. Sure our Christmas tree might not look perfect, but our kids will remember how much fun they had putting it up. Sure they broke an ornament or two, but those are easily replaceable, but memories stay with them.

As Christmas draws near, let us not forget to build memories with our children. If you’re like me, your December calendar is filling up fast with parties here and there, and we don’t want to leave our children out. Schedule fun activities with your children like make your own ornaments, sing Christmas carols, bake sugar cookies, visit an orphanage or bless another family with a meal. Your activities don’t have to cost a lot. It can be as simple as watching a Christmas video at home with popcorn and brownies.

And most importantly, take time to reflect on what this season is all about… that Jesus was born to give us life!

Nov 16 2011

don’t you just love being a mom?

Two nights ago, Ryan came to our room asking if he could sleep with us. Occasionally, one of our kids will knock on our bedroom door in the middle of the night, pillow and comforter in tow, saying he had a bad dream and just wanted to be with us. It is for this reason that I have a spare mattress in our room. I love it that we are able to give them the comfort they need.

Joaquin, who has been clingly the past days, told me yesterday “Mom, don’t leave me ok? You’re mine, ok?” That just melted my heart.

Last night, after we had a family group hug, Janina asked us “Don’t you just love having 4 kids?!” And I exclaimed, “It’s the best!”

Tonight, Nathan said that he wants a Kindle for his birthday and Janina gladly volunteered to pay for half of it. It gave me joy to see that my kids actually love each other. :)

It’s not always easy. In fact, let me be honest and say that it has been a lot of hard work. It’s never perfect. But I can’t imagine my life any other way.
Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3

Nov 10 2011

can we choose our child’s friends?

One of a mom’s nightmares is to discover her son or daughter in the company of the wrong crowd, doing the things that the wrong crowd normally does like drinking, sex and drugs. Is there a full-proof way to make sure this doesn’t happen? Can we tell our children who to hang out with? Can we approve their friends first?

While our children are young, we mostly make their choices for them. We choose the food they eat, the clothes they wear, the movies they watch, the time they sleep. And yes, we actually choose their friends. We organize playgroups with our other mommy friends, and invite kids we like for sleep-overs and parties. In that sense, we choose their friends for them. But as they get older, their circle grows bigger, as they start school and get to know other kids, we gradually lose control. And ultimately, we just have to trust that our kids make the right choices in their friends.

There are things that my husband and I do to help our kids in this area. As it has always been said “Bad company corrupts good character.” This is not just a saying, but a biblical principle that has proven itself true in too many an occasion. Knowing this, we do our best as parents to steer our children away from bad company.

Though we really cannot choose the kids our children will get along with, we can set them up to choose the right ones.

We need to be deliberate. Toddler playgroups are not just a break for me. It is a deliberate effort on my part for my children to develop friendships early with the kids of my friends, whom I know have the same values as I do. Come to think of it, the closest friends of my older kids are the ones whom they have been playing with since they were little. We plan out of town trips with different families to give our children the opportunity to bond with each other. We look for various ways to get our children with other kids who are the “right” company for them and hope that they hit it off with one or more of them.

We need to educate our children. We need to give them guidelines on what a real friend is… one who encourages, who builds up, who influences us to do good and to be better, who draws us to Jesus and not away from Him.

And lastly, we need to pray for our children. We need to pray that they will have godly wisdom and discernment to always make the right choices.

Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces. Prov13.20.MSG

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