The Pressure to Have Perfect Kids

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When I picked Joaquin up from Kids’ Church, I was told by his teacher that he misbehaved that day in class. His teacher heard him saying some words that were inappropriate. At this moment, part of me felt embarassed and wanted the ground to open and swallow me up. You see, this was after my husband just preached a powerful message in the assembly hall. The teachers were probably thinking “This is Pastor Paolo’s son? How could he behave this way?!” I was surprised to hear about Joaquin’s behavior, yet not that surprised because we’ve observed that Joaquin has been in the stage of testing all boundaries. I affirmed the teacher that he was right to call out Joaquin’s wrong behavior and told him that we were going to deal with it at home. These are my thoughts: 1.Our kids will never be perfect. Yes, we try to train them and discipline […]

A Healthier Lifestyle

Posted on Posted in Family, Parenting

No, we are not turning vegetarians. That is just not realistic for us. But my husband and I do want to be healthier and I want to share the things that we have been doing with our family. We didn’t make any drastic changes, or else, the kids will start a revolution hehe.. We’ve had to choose what was doable for everyone. There are things that we still cannot completely eliminate like fried chicken and the occasional McDonalds. We are far from being experts and we know that we still have so much to learn, but we are happy with the little changes we’ve been able to make as a family. 1. Getting enough sleep. At least 8 hours a day. We turn off our wifi at home at 10pm to make sure that the kids don’t get tempted to stay up for social media surfing. 2. Cutting down on […]

The Non-Assertive Parent

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“Time to go to bed,” the mom says. “No, I still want to play!” answers the child as he walks away. The mom just lets out a sigh and goes back to her book. I don’t know how parents have evolved in the last decades, but one thing I’ve observed is that children these days react so much differently to their parents. Children seem to be more assertive to their parents and parents less assertive to their children. Parents don’t seem to have the same confidence in putting their foot down, compared to parents of my generation. They are scared to impose a routine, establish boundaries or implement consequences. I am not saying that they don’t care and are neglectful. I mean, it is good that children are heard and considered but it’s just that they have become more tolerant and easily manipulated by their children. Thus, resulting to children […]

The Best Treasure

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After our evening devotions, I asked Joaquin, “Do you feel unhappy when other kids gets the cool stuff you want?” Joaquin answered, “No, because I already have the best treasure which is God’s love.” In a society where materialism is encouraged, it is a challenge for parents to make our children realise that more things doesn’t mean more happiness. It happens too often in every household: your son begs you to get him the latest gadget because all his friends have it. Or your daughter complains about her new shoes because it’s not a signature brand and she’s embarrassed to be seen in them. Everytime we give in to our children’s unreasonable demands, we are reinforcing their sense of entitlement. They will grow up believing that it is their right to get whatever they want, when in fact, a lot of the things they enjoy are a privilege. They will […]

A World Without Boundaries

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These days must be confusing for our children. Our society has seemed to have blurred the lines between right and wrong… making what used to be unquestionably unacceptable, now acceptable. What used to be black and white are now grey areas. If we go down this path, I wonder what the world will be like ten, twenty years from now. The question is, who defines right and wrong? If it was God who put us in this world, then we need to trust His rules. If there is anyone who knows man’s tendency to push the boundaries, it is our Creator. That’s why He made sure to articulate for us through His Word the boundaries, commands and rules that should govern our world. If we abandon an absolute standard that gives us the boundaries to live by, then anyone or any group can declare acceptable whatever they feel is right. God […]

When It’s Hard To Forgive

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It must have been the third time Joaquin had told me that he was not inviting his friend, Marcus (not his real name) to his birthday party in September. When I asked him why, he said that Marcus pushed him and that he was still mad at him. I told him that the right thing to do would be to forgive his friend because that’s what Jesus wants us to do when we get offended. He said, “I have already forgiven him but only half. Next year I will forgive him whole.” I knew what he was trying to say because I have found myself in the same boat many times in the past. It’s like, yes, I want to forgive the person, but I am still too hurt to completely release forgiveness. Though Joaquin is only 6 years old, I believe he needs to understand what it really means to forgive, […]

What Makes You A Great Dad?

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(A blog for the father of my children, Paolo) It is Father’s Day weekend and in a couple of days all social media will be flooded with countless greetings and appreciation for dads around the world. And rightly so, since fathers play such an important role in the life of every kid. When we had our firstborn, Nathan, I knew for a fact that you were clueless about how to be a good dad. The main reason being was your lack of a role model. Since you were raised in a single parent home, you had no idea what it meant to be a father. But that didn’t stop you. You searched for role models, you read books, you attended parenting seminars. You asked other dads about what you could do better. I’ve always told you how great a father you are. I’ve seen your love and sacrifice. I remember […]

Five Things Our Kids Need To Hear

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Parents, let us not underestimate the power of our words. God put us in the lives of our children to mold them and raise them up to be secure and confident individuals. There are many ways to do this, but one of the most effective ways is through our words. Below are five important messages we need to convey to our kids. “I love you no matter what.” When Joaquin does something he knows has made me upset, he tells me “I love you mom.” During those times, I know he doesn’t say it for me, he says it for himself because he wants to hear what I normally reply which is “I love you too.” Something in him wants to be assured that I love him just the same even when I am upset with him. When our kids let us down, the first thing they want to know […]