Giving Your Child a Budget

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After Joaquin’s summer musical theater workshop, I promised to get him a toy as a reward. We went to a toy store and I told him that he can get any toy he wanted, as long as it cost P700 or less. At once, he ventured out with excitement like a pirate looking for treasure. “Mom, does this fit my budget?” he would ask. “I’m sorry son, that’s too much,” I would answer. Several times he picked up a toy that cost more than P700 and again and again I would remind him of his budget. (I can’t believe how expensive toys are these days! ) It felt heart-breaking to see him so excited about a toy only to end up walking away from it. I am so proud of my son who displayed so much patience and self-control as he continued to look around, without whining or grumbling, until […]

The Negative of Positive Parenting

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At a birthday party, I was able to talk to some moms, and as we talked about our children as we normally would, the idea of “Positive Parenting” came up. I am not very familiar with this concept, and after one mom explained to us, and after reading a few articles online, honestly, I am still ¬†unclear on what this method really is (and I don’t even want to attempt to explain). All I understand is that the proponents of this method don’t believe that parents should be imposing consequences on their children, but should only let them suffer the natural consequences of their actions… which means, no to spanking or grounding or witholding of privileges. So if your child fails to obey your instruction to brush his teeth, you cannot give him a consequence for that, but wait until he develops cavities so he learns the importance of oral […]

Shifting the Blame

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Usually, when our children are caught doing something wrong, they are quick to make excuses for their actions. They rationalize , justify and point the blame to another sibling. This scenario probably happens in your home, as it happens quiet often in ours: Parent to son: Why did you shout at your sister? Son: Because she pushed me. Parent to daughter: Why did you push your brother? Daughter: Because he was annoying me. And so the blame game continues… To end this game, we ask our kids one simple question: “What did you do that you shouldn’t have done and what are you going to do about it?” This question gives them no room for excuses but every bit of space and time to admit their part of the problem and take responsibility for it. They see that we are not as interested in them knowing what their brother or […]

Learning to See Danger

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I like it that our kids are adventurous, always willing to try new things, to take risks, sometimes even “fearless.” I don’t like them to grow up over-cautious, to the point of being paralyzed with fear, and ending up not doing the things they hope to do. But one thing I do pray for is wisdom for them to foresee danger and take precaution when they have to, especially when they are doing something that can potentially hurt them or lead them to sin. Two years ago, we did something that has been on our kids’ bucket list: cliff-jumping. Joaquin, who was just 3 years old then, was watching his siblings plunge into the sea from a 30-foot high cliff, when he told me that he wanted to try it as well. I was pretty amazed at his bravery for even thinking of the idea. But as much as we […]

Why the Boundaries?

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An unfortunate thing happened today. The pet birds of Janina and Ryan were perched on their stand when our house cat suddenly entered the house. As soon as¬†Janina noticed the cat, she quickly got up to put the birds inside their cage. Unfortunately, one of the birds resisted and jumped off from her hand onto the floor, and you can guess what happened next. It’s too gory to describe here.                       If you follow my blog, you should know by now that I would never let a teachable moment pass me by. And in my books, this is one blockbuster teachable moment. I took the time to process with the kids what just took place. Obviously, Janina wanted to protect the birds from the cat that’s why she attempted to move them from the open space to the cramp cage. […]