The first thing was for her to have a time with some older women- her “titas” -whom I know she looks up to and who can speak into her life. I wanted her to hear from these women words of wisdom that can help her make the most out of her teenage years.  Her relationship with these “titas” started many years ago when Paolo and I decided that we will be deliberate to pull these women into her life through weekend dates, sleepovers and dress-up parties. I know as parents that we need all the help we can get to raise our teenager and I am thankful for these women that have built a relationship with Janina over the last few years. In case a time comes when Janina cannot come to me for a problem, I know that she has these godly women to run to.

From R-L: Coney Reyes, Mae Perez, Mikkie Regalado, Me, Janina, Vanessa Sunga, Ryan Punzalan, Dar Unson, Elaine Ojeda, Macy Mumar, Marge Patena, Rica Tongco

The second thing that we planned many years ago to do was to give her a purity ring. Paolo set up a father-daughter dinner date to talk to her about keeping herself pure until her wedding day. He explained to her that as children of God, we are called to be holy, to be pure, and to live a godly life. It won’t be easy especially in today’s generation when the world has become very permissive and tolerant of the things that do not please God. The temptations will come but God has given us the power to resist. The ring is a simple reminder of her commitment to stay pure before God.

As our children enter their teenage years, we cannot just leave them to chance and hope that they will turn out okay. We need to be proactive and equip them with everything we can to help them live a life that is pleasing to God.

I didn't realize Joaquin was wearing mismatched slippers when we left the house.

This year for mother’s day they prepared breakfast for me. They decorated our dining area with pink ribbons, made me a crown and prepared a special chair for me to sit on.

I truly felt appreciated. My kids are not perfect but they are the only kids I have and I love them for everything they are. Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms!

]]> http://jennpunzalan.com/2012/05/mothers-day-surprise/feed/ 1 http://jennpunzalan.com/2012/03/let-him-do-his-job/ http://jennpunzalan.com/2012/03/let-him-do-his-job/#comments Thu, 15 Mar 2012 07:07:58 +0000 jenn http://www.jennpunzalan.com/?p=464890580 I didn’t want our 3-year Joaquin to ice skate yet. My husband, Paolo, offered to skate with him but I wasn’t sure about the idea. I could think of 101 ways how he could get hurt on the ice. But Joaquin was so persistent, not wanting to miss out on the fun with his siblings. So I let him.

As they headed inside, I called Paolo on his cellphone to give him reminders and he told me “Jenn, it’s ok. I have done this with our 3 other kids before” and hung up. He was right.

In the first thirty minutes or so, Joaquin just clung on to Paolo’s legs and just allowed himself to drag wherever his dad went. But I also saw how, with Paolo’s prodding, he gradually gained confidence to let go and take a few strides all on his own. I wish I could describe the happiness on Joaquin’s face!

This brought back pictures in my mind of Paolo doing exactly the same thing with each of our three older kids several years back and he did know what to do.

Often times I am overcome by worry, afraid to relinquish control to my husband. I fear that he will not be able to do as good a job as I expect him to. But time and time again, I am proven wrong.

If there is one thing I have realized over the years it’s that my husband is good at so many things I am not good at. But I need to step out of the way and let him do his job.

Ryan at 9 months old fell asleep in his stroller eating his chicken leg

This was one question on Ryan’s science quiz on which we had a discussion. The teacher’s guide said that it was TRUE, but Ryan insisted that it was FALSE.

I gave Ryan the chance to explain why he said the statement was FALSE. He said that birds make their own nests and beavers build their own dams, so in that sense, animals can create things. He did have a point, so for that, I marked his answer correct. (One of the reasons why I love homeschooling )

As his homeschool teacher, it is easy to mark his mistakes wrong because the answer key says so. But I want more for him than just accepting what the books say. I want him to think and process every information that he comes across with. I need to be secure when my kids challenge me, not out of disrespect, but out of determination to learn.

As the school year is drawing to a close, I want to look back on the past 10 months and know that I didn’t just spoonfeed information to my children and they blindly memorized everything. That is not how I want my children to grow up. They can remember the names of all of the Philippine presidents but do they know what makes a good president? ” Critical thinking, is a skill that elevates thinking beyond memorization into the realm of analysis and logic. ”

My goal for educating my kids is to equip and empower them for life. More than memorizing facts, which can be easily googled anyway, I want them to know how to think, how to reason out, how to challenge statements, how to weigh information, how to solve problems and make decisions.

Over the years, even my older kids have come up to me at one time or another to report that a classmate or a friend told them they were not good enough.

It’s inevitable that our kids will hear put-downs from others about their looks, their potential, their achievements and just about any trivial thing that concerns them.

As parents, we can react in different ways. We can go and confront that boy who put down our child and warn him to stop bullying our son “or else…” Or we can pull out our child from that school and look for a more friendly environment for him. Or we can constantly hover around our child and make sure no one comes near him who has bad intentions. Or we can teach our kids to attack with meaner words like “Yes I’m small but I’ll grow bigger but you, you’ll stay ugly forever!” (Believe me, there were times in the past, I was so tempted to attack!)

Or we can simply tell our kids to ignore the comment. We can teach our child to listen to the right voices and reject the wrong ones.

When Joaquin told me about the incident, I reminded him of the video we just watched entitled “Dave and the Giant Pickle.” (Talk about timing…) This was VeggieTales version of the biblical account of David and Goliath. I reminded Joaquin that even if David was small, he was able to kill Goliath because God was with him. So even if other kids tell him he’s small, he can still do great things because God will help him. “So Joaquin, you are big because God is with you!”  I saw how his face lit up as he received affirmation from me.

Of course, your response will depend on the gravity of the situation. If your child is constantly being bullied by his classmates and he is starting to hate school because of that, by all means move him to another school. But if it is a simple case of immature teasing, teach your child to ignore those comments, and feed his mind with the right ones. When others say discouraging things to our children, let our words of praise and affirmation speak even louder!

Now, if you clicked on the link, you’re probably wondering if I got the dougie. Well, that’s not the point The point is, we need to stay relevant to our kids, learn to connect with them and simply just have fun with them. And boy, did we have lots of laughs as we danced together. We kept laughing at ourselves until we were out of breath.

A friend just recently told me that her kids preferred to be with their dad more than with her. I asked her why she thought they did, and she said it’s probably because all she did with them was to make sure they obeyed the rules. “Do this, do that, don’t do this, don’t do that…” Those words basically summed up her everyday encounter with her kids. Moms, as much as rules are important, there should be a good balance between rules and relationship. One way to develop that relationship is to do things with your kids that they consider fun. Find out what they are into and join them!

At times,  I’ve had to force myself to learn certain games just so I can enjoy them with my kids. And I would usually find myself having more fun than I expected! So go ahead, even if you look funny, do the dougie!

I told my kids “Guys, no Walkman during homeschool,” they looked puzzled and asked “What’s walkman?”