different types of crying

Posted on 1 CommentPosted in Parenting

I asked Joaquin to sit on a chair and stay there for a few minutes because he messed up his older brothers’ chess game. As he sat there, he started wailing as if someone hurt him really badly. I told him, “Joaquin, you have to stop crying now.” To this he answered, “But I’m a three-year old kid. I’m allowed to cry.” His comment made me pause and rethink the situation. Mothers are very well aware that there are different kinds of crying. And with every cry, our child is communicating something to us. There is a cry that says “I’m hungry or I need a diaper change.” And as your child gets older, his cry could say “I’m hurt. I got a boo-boo” or “I am frustrated”. And the crying that I normally deal with when it comes to Joaquin, it’s the whining type of crying, that says “I […]

keeping your toddler still

Posted on 1 CommentPosted in Parenting

It is funny to see the different things parents do to try to control their children. One of the best places to observe this is at the pediatrician’s clinic, where the long wait really makes it so challenging for parents to keep their children behaved, myself included. While I was waiting for our turn,  I heard two different moms sitting on opposite sides of me threaten their child with ” If you don’t behave, you’ll get an injection.” Poor child. This only increases the trauma of doctors visits. And poor doctor too. Because now the child sees him as the person who inflicts punishment. Last weekend, our 3-year old Joaquin was a ringbearer at the wedding of two of our good friends. I anticipated that Joaquin will become restless sometime during the course of the ceremony and reception so I brought some toys with me. His toys kept him occupied […]

keep our emotions in check

Posted on 4 CommentsPosted in Life Lessons, Parenting

After-school conversations: Janina: “Mom, I gave away all my Pixie sticks to my classmates!” Me: “That’s good Janina. The Bible says ‘It’s better to give than to receive.’” Janina: “Why don’t I feel good about giving them away?” Me: “It’s ok. It’s not about what we feel. But about doing what honors God.” Ryan: “Mom, I always carry Janina’s bags to the car.” Me: “Wow, that’s good Ryan. You’re serving your sister.” Ryan: “Cause it’s fun to carry a lot!” Me: “What if it’s not fun anymore? Will you still help her?” Ryan: “Of course!” Feelings or emotions are powerful. God created us with feelings to help us discern many things. For instance, when we feel fear, it helps us discern danger. Emotions are the driving force to a lot of our behavior. If we are not passionate about something, we will not be motivated to act. But we have […]

wait your turn

Posted on 7 CommentsPosted in Parenting

Years ago, when Paolo and I just had one child, we hosted an American family who had several kids. Over dinner conversations, one child would interrupt his dad and he would just raise a finger to that child and carry on with his conversation. After the dad finishes his conversation, that’s the only time he would give his attention to his child. I would always feel sorry for that child who, in my inexperienced mind, was ignored by his dad. Didn’t the dad have to drop his adult conversation to give attention to his own child? Today, having 4 kids, I often find myself doing the same thing to my children. It is quite a challenge to carry on a decent conversation with my husband with 4 kids around who all constantly demand my attention. What I now realize is that American guest of ours was teaching their kids to […]