The Non-Assertive Parent

Posted on Posted in Parenting

“Time to go to bed,” the mom says. “No, I still want to play!” answers the child as he walks away. The mom just lets out a sigh and goes back to her book. I don’t know how parents have evolved in the last decades, but one thing I’ve observed is that children these days react so much differently to their parents. Children seem to be more assertive to their parents and parents less assertive to their children. Parents don’t seem to have the same confidence in putting their foot down, compared to parents of my generation. They are scared to impose a routine, establish boundaries or implement consequences. I am not saying that they don’t care and are neglectful. I mean, it is good that children are heard and considered but it’s just that they have become more tolerant and easily manipulated by their children. Thus, resulting to children […]

different types of crying

Posted on 1 CommentPosted in Parenting

I asked Joaquin to sit on a chair and stay there for a few minutes because he messed up his older brothers’ chess game. As he sat there, he started wailing as if someone hurt him really badly. I told him, “Joaquin, you have to stop crying now.” To this he answered, “But I’m a three-year old kid. I’m allowed to cry.” His comment made me pause and rethink the situation. Mothers are very well aware that there are different kinds of crying. And with every cry, our child is communicating something to us. There is a cry that says “I’m hungry or I need a diaper change.” And as your child gets older, his cry could say “I’m hurt. I got a boo-boo” or “I am frustrated”. And the crying that I normally deal with when it comes to Joaquin, it’s the whining type of crying, that says “I […]

on whining

Posted on 2 CommentsPosted in Parenting

All of my kids go through periods of whining. From my 1 yr old to my 14 yr old. Kids whine for different reasons but mostly it’s when things don’t go their way. It’s when they want to buy that lollipop in the supermarket, or to stay up late or go out with their friends and you say no, then they endlessly nag you in that high-pitched, grumbling, complaining tone. Whining really irritates me. (Occasionally though, my kids would be whining, only for me to realize that I have been too busy with other stuff and haven’t been giving them the attention they need. In times like these, I do my best to re-organize my week to make sure I spend ample time with them.) Though it is very common in kids, they have to be taught how to communicate properly even when they are emotional. And they just have […]

good actor

Posted on Posted in Life Lessons

Whining is not allowed in our home. Our 7-year-old daughter did it one time for not being able to get what she wanted. Ryan, our 3-year-old son said, “Mom, I don’t like that sound.” I replied by saying, “Well, Ryan, you also whine sometimes.” To this he said, “No, mom, I’m just a good actor.”